The Vodka Diaries (Part Two)

On Thursday 17th October I presented an updated thirty minute scratch of The Vodka Diaries at The Underbelly, Rumsey Wells. Here is an audio recording. Please have a listen and let me know what you think.

The Vodka Diaries (Part One)

On Tuesday 23rd April I presented a twenty minute scratch of my new show, 'The Vodka Diaries', at Norwich Arts Centre. Here is an audio recording. Please have a listen and let me know what you think.

Bandersnatch

Beware the usurer my girl,

who lends to see your lips unfurl

and softly, slowly, validate

the body as his interest rate.

Avoid the flatterer my lass:

grinning, cocksure, bold as brass;

but brass won’t pay the surgeon’s bill,

and gold will buy a bitter pill.

Then love the laughing boy my child,

go dancing with him through the wild,

where ecstasy and perfumed sweat

will grant a gift, not claim a debt.

For kisses laid upon the womb

are sweeter than a lonely tomb.

Russell J Turner – October 2012

Pissing up the walls of dollar hell

She's spitting out some screwed-up villanelle

to every Johnny looking for their luck,

she’s pissing up the walls of dollar hell.

And ninety cents an hour don’t cast no spell,

that hot steel peels her cranium unstuck

through spitting out some screwed-up villanelle.

All dried-up bitches with no soul to sell,

them lame floor ladies, they don’t give a fuck–

done pissing up the walls of dollar hell.

Forget it sister, there’s no kiss and tell,

no Catholic girls, no fine young cock to suck,

just spitting out some screwed-up villanelle.

Those stallions won’t drink from this poisoned well,

and Sally’s mustang’s too damn tired to buck–

gone pissing up the walls of dollar hell.

Still waiting for that final graveyard bell,

a New York ticket flowering in the muck.

She's spitting out some screwed-up villanelle,

she’s pissing up the walls of dollar hell.

Russell J Turner – October 2012

Sonnet for Mia

When I first heard Mia Zapata rhyme,

The fist that clenched my soul began to shake

This sleeper, startled, suddenly awake;

A drumbeat dancing up and down my spine.

Like Janis, twenty years out of her time:

Some spirit cast in fire, a tongue to break

Your heart in two, then mend it new, to make

Mad love to thousands on the borderline.

But now I hear Mia Zapata weep–

For there are times when we are all afraid–

Seattle stalks her while her lovers sleep,

Seattle breaks her beauty with a blade;

A ballad of divine profanity,

She sings a soft unfinished symphony…

Russell J Turner – October 2012

trashcan romance

when the dustmen emptied out the bins

     they started a totally inappropriate relationship

all over the garden and onto the pavement

     so I warned them that they were making fools of themselves

mixing up the landfill and the recyclables

     but they told me to mind my own business

I went completely ballistic

     said something about stones and glasshouses

threatening to call the council and the police

     which was a bit close to the bone

but that seemed to have the desired effect

     leaving me in floods of tears

shaming them into clearing up their mess

     and then they snogged in the middle of the road just to rub it in

Russell J Turner – November 2012

An escalated war against my nerves and my soul

able to fit inside one suitcase

the whole thing is as plain as a sock on the jaw

An invaluable tool

It all started in March of last year

during the surgery, they went ahead

which would remove nearly every person

when it is best for him to keep his lips

Language is wine

How odd to use it as an insult

Latin was an elective

to get a taste of the history

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY

to give you the straight dope

we have to resort to long and arid dissertations

we have to resort to long and arid dissertations

we have to resort to long and arid dissertations

Russell J Turner – September 2012