Hell on Earth (A Recruitment Song)

If you dig unwanted pregnancies,
Join the Catholic Church;
And suffering from sexual disease,
Then join the Catholic Church.

If child-molesting makes you smile,
Join the Catholic Church;
And help protect a paedophile
When you join the Catholic Church.

Join the Catholic, join the Catholic,
Join the Catholic Church;
If you believe in Hell on Earth
Then join the Catholic Church.

If you believe in fear not love,
Join the Catholic Church;
Because you fear your Lord above,
Join the Catholic Church.

If you deny a woman's right to choose,
Join the Catholic Church;
If you helped the Nazis kill the Jews,
Then join the Catholic Church.

Join the Catholic, join the Catholic,
Join the Catholic Church;
If you believe in Hell on Earth
Then join the Catholic Church.

If you hate gays and all their kin,
Join the Catholic Church;
And think women are the cause of sin,
Then join the Catholic Church.

If you still believe in fairytales,
Join the Catholic Church;
And we'll pin you up with Christ's own nails
When you join the Catholic Church.

Join the Catholic, join the Catholic,
Join the Catholic Church;
If you desire a Hell on Earth
Then join the Catholic Church.

Russell J Turner – September 2010